When a doctor's kid gets sick...

A doctor friend was on the phone fretting over something behind her baby's ear. My son Caleb had one, too. And I remember begging Arvin to take a work leave so that we could bring him to the pedia together. I might not be able to bear the bad news, I said. Turned out it was nothing to be worried about. (I think) doctor moms are actually more paranoid than other moms. We can think of all the near and far-fetched possibilities there are in a simple fever or lump. I mean this even with our patients, not just with our own kids. But of course, we don't tell you all the scary stuff on the first visit. That is why we ask some tests and schedule a  follow up appointment (no, this is not just a money-making scheme so if you trust your doctor, by all means go back for that appointment!!).

Last weekend I had to contend with Caleb's first ever fever sick mode. He refused to be comforted by anyone but me, and only nursed to be comforted. Some well meaning people asked why I am not taking him to the doctor. (Like, hello? I am one. They keep forgetting that just because I am the all-around housewife.)  I would lie if I say I was not tempted to rush to the ER.  In fact, the hospital bag was ready. I didn't because my objective judgement overruled my maternal instinct. Plus my maternal instinct hates to see my kid being needle poked.

Ooops, I am not sending a delay-consult-all-will-be-well signal here. Believe me, I was more vigilant with Caleb than I have been during my ICU duties in PGH. I only mean to share how difficult it was to be objective with my own son being sick. Back in the island, I would have considered him an 'easy' case -  examine the patient, reassure the mother, give prescriptions and instructions, blah blah blah... This process takes on a whole new meaning now.

I also want to let this out.. did you ever feel guilty when one of your kids got sick? I actually did. It was a different kind of turmoil. Where possibly did he get it? Is there anything I failed to do? Can I take away his pain? But as I nursed my very own sick child,  I have come to terms with the fragility of life from a different perspective. That no matter how I try to protect him, a scratch, a bruise or another infection may still get through.  I had to trust God's sustaining grace over Caleb's life instead of fretting over these inevitables. I love my son, but the Lord loves him waaaay beyond.. and this is just so comforting :)


"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!" -Isaiah 49:15

Caleb had a simple viral infection - the one that doesn't need antibiotics, needle pokes, or hospital stays. The one that goes away on its own. Self-limiting, as doctors call it. I was right to trust the facts all along.

Xoxo,

Mommy Lei, MD